Dear Law School:
Hi. It has been a while since you begged me for money I heard from you. How I have missed your daily email announcements. I celebrate regret that we have lost touch.
It is very kind of you to invite me to come trick-or-treating in your halls. It would be a fantastic opportunity to finally exact revenge on horrid professors reconnect with favorite professors. However, thanks to your decision to screw me over not fill the position (I was PROMISED), I now live 10 hours and 27 minutes (or 650.47 miles) away.
So please, have a happy Halloween, and as far as the candy bought with me in mind? Well you can take that candy and shove it.
Love,
Me
